Jan. 16th, 2017

reishishi: (Blastgoggles)
I think I fell for you yesterday.  Just the slightest bit. There was an almost imperceptible shift and if I hadn't been paying attention, I might have missed it. I might have brushed it off as 'a moment' and let it go.  But I felt it, that little tremor, and my mind went "What was that?"

A deepening of fondness. A little heart flutter and a funny stomach flip flop that had never happened before when I looked at you.

It was there and gone, but not truly gone. Just subsided. A match struck on sandpaper, flaring to life and then promptly blown out, leaving a little glow behind. Firefly sized. I can tell because when I concentrate, the feeling's still there. It's small and warm and easily excusable as something else.  Easily deniable for now, anyway.

I still have my walls, the parapets and ramparts which protect me. They'll keep the glow inside, keep it hidden until I know whether to fan the flames or douse them.

But you've been working at coming in. You've been waiting at the gate, seeing if the drawbridge will lower for you, noticing no soldiers on the walls to chase you away. Bit by bit, that bridge is being extended by coaxing words and oh, there is fear that you'll see that little light I hid and be displeased that it is there.

Because I think I fell for you yesterday. Just a bit.

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Alyce Attwood

January 2017

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